toilet training

Yeah yeah... I know... weird ass title... I was just thinking about this posting today... You know, when travelling or going out anywhere it's essential that one finds out where the toilets are. When you gotta go, you gotta go, right?

Anyway, it all started for me in Oman... the call of nature after traipsing around Fort Nakhal... I was wondering what those shower hoses were attached to the side of the toilet... hmmm... strange...

Then in Dubai, at the airport, I had to pay a visit to the bathroom again. Lo and behold they were there again. This time I wanted to find out what they were... I gotta say that I had a pretty fair idea... Ok, so I heard this lady going for it in the cubicle next to me (with the hose, I mean). So I just had to give it a go... wooo hay! That was so awesome. Power shower! I heard somewhere that once you have tried the bidet you can never go back. How true that is.

And I didn't have to flush! The toilet had some kind of inbuilt sensor that flushed automatically. I really don't know how that one works. Why doesn't it flush when you're in the middle of doing your business? ??? Eeewww.... that would be rather unfortunate... but what a cool concept!

Also, sensory taps... put your left hand in, put your left hand out, put your left hand in and shake it all about... do the hokey pokey and turn around... that's what it's all about... put your right hand in... ok ok... you get the picture...

Oh yeah, forgot to mention. Oman. Pull the flusher, don't press. Had to get used to that one.

In England, they have levers on the side of the lav which you just pull down. Wow! So many ways to take a crap! I mean it! I'm not taking the piss, mate. 'Scuse the pun.

What I haven't checked yet is which way the water swirls down the toilet. Clockwise or anti-clockwise... ie: Simpson's episode where Bart rings Australia... cringe... really bad Aussie accents galore...

Thank god I haven't experienced the hole in the ground or the outdoor dunny yet. It's too bloody cold here in London to be doing that. You would literally freeze your butt off.

And at the Tate Modern I did see a really cool photgraphic display of toilet seats... can't remember who the artist was...

Oh yeah... Hungry Jacks or should I say Burger King makes you pay 20p for the pleasure. they have turnstiles outside their lavs with coin dispensers... bizarre... and public loos are also pay per pooh.

good ole McChucks is still free... I don't eat there, was just busting one day when I was in between job interviews. sorry, too much info? But in Eng-errrr-land, the toilets at Makkas are unisex... freaked me out a little when a hairy ape came waltzing out of the lav. Blah!

Is this a new obsession of mine? No. Probably just some kind of depraved virgo observation.

There are 3 toilets in the house where I'm currently living. The one I love most, and which is closest to where I'm sleeping is the loo tucked away under the stairs in the closet. It's the weirdest sensation going under the stairs to take a pee.

Having said that, nature calls... way too much coffee...

ciao!